Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
