Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
