Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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