dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
