My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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