i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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