when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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