went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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