The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
