We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
