ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's shark week go big or go home
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
