Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize