Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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