Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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