So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize