its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize