In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
