If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
