You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
