Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize