If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
