I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.đź’¨
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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