That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
