God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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