yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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