i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
