oh god the rape fog is back!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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