He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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