Everything about him screamed your future.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
