I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
