im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
