I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize