We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
