margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
