Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
