Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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