Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
