At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
