Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
kristin has been a bad kristin
I puked a lego.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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