yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
