What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
