At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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