Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
