im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize