He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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