East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize