No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
