I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think people are normalizing furries
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
