They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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