dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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