I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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