what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
