one might say we're banned from that church
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize