Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
