This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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