dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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