that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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