Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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