I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
MIDGETS
????
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
