How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize