bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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