you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We need to get me chipped asap
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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