Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize
