My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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