Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
