I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
