i don't plan on having that self control this summer
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
