I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
