i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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