Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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